You guessed it…

Sundowner - One Hundred Resolutions!!!

Where have I been all your life?
Sitting on fences — a novocaine for all the senses.
Another year will pass us by.
Making sense of nothing, in defense of something.
I laughed too late and dug myself into a grave.
This year I’ll try not to think too much.
This year I’ll try to stand up for myself.
This year I’ll live like I’ve never lived before,
This is my year for sure.
Another stupid clumsy story.
More accidental aspirations.
Another explosion of silence.
I think I’m going deaf, or maybe I’m just hearing less.
This year I’ll try to only listen to myself.
This year I’ll try not to think too much.
This year I’ll try to stand up for myself.
This year I’ll live like I’ve never lived before,
This is my year for sure.
I wonder where you’ll be bringing in the New Year.
As midnight clocks are singing,
Good chance I’ll be slobbering somewhere.
Probably pass out, wasted, and sleeping until the smoke clears.
Vague memories of midnight flash in tune to morning sunlight.
Wake up knowing you’ll never be there.
I’ve got 100 resolutions, but I’ve got no solutions.
I’ve got one song I write 100 times.
And only a dozen or so rhymes.
This year I’ll try not to drink so much.
This year I’ll try to stand up straight.
This year let’s live liked we’ve never lived before,
This is our year for sure.

Hi everyone, my name is Jose (aka joseanything). This is my first entry for the year, and for the decade at that. Before I explain why I posted this song (not that it’d be hard to guess), I want to discuss what attracted me to this blog to begin with. The concept of Song Journal really struck me because to me, and I’m sure to you as well, music is more than just chords, melodies and a beat. There is a message to every great song. What makes a great song? Is it the ability to empathize with the artist? I don’t think so. Rather, I think feeling like the songwriter is empathizing with you. My favorite songs have always been ones that I felt like the singer had experienced something I was going through.

So I’ll explain why I can relate to this song. The opening lines make me think of how I didn’t meet my girlfriend until I started getting over my vices. I was trying to numb the pains of depression with distractions, like tv shows and weed. Instead of relying in self-medication, I’m gonna try to change the way I think. I’ll avoid over-thinking. I won’t be over-critical of myself. I’ve learned to love myself over the past year, though the past month and a half that self-confidence had started to erode. I just need to stand up for myself, even against myself (or rather my sometimes irrational thoughts). I won’t follow any more “accidental aspirations” (like my half-assed attempts at getting a degree). I don’t know what I want to do with my life. But I’m going to figure it out, and then I know I’ll be able to follow through with achieving goals I set out for myself. I resolve to find direction in my life. My resolution is to find a real solution.

This year let’s live like we’ve never lived before. This is our year for sure.