the antlers - the universe is going to catch you.

come back inside to this house, to your home made of steel-structured styrofoam. nobody’s out there, but someone is singing you back to your birthplace. that voice is the same voice you heard on the same night that everything glowed, took you into the air, and the arms of the universe kept you from falling. but after that happened, those arms did not come back. so when you leapt up and nobody caught you, your neck broke.

hi, I’m shelly, and more often than not I have too much to say. visit me here, if you’d like.

the antlers take the words out of my mouth all too often, but the first time I listened to this song, it’s been illuminated that I’m who they’re depicting here. for as long as I have been completely self-aware, corresponding to that is the sentiment that I’ve never felt at home anywhere. I’ve always been struggling to leave people and places behind, to imprint, make my mark, and disappear quietly. there’s always been that naive reasoning, a strange sort of hope, that I was born free, am free, so why not take advantage of it? and that’s selfish, okay, but I can’t change it, and I can’t ignore it, and they say it better than I do, that I too foolishly think the universe will catch me. it’s this song that has made me realize that when I depart, and I’m missed, I don’t even know if that’ll matter. so the truth is I’m unsure about everything except this, and I don’t know what I’m doing, and thinking about the future scares me more than anything. but I suppose if I were given the chance to tell all the people I’ve left that I’m sorry, I would, but I don’t know if I could bring myself to mean it.