song cry, jay-z

He was turning out to be a bad influence. I wanted to stop drinking so much. I wanted the guy I was in love with to come back to me. So I quietly, and cowardly, deleted Bob from facebook. I deleted his number from my phone. 

I few weeks into not talking to each other, he text messaged me. He was in Wisconsin. He missed me. How about a sox game? I gave in. We ended up at some place doing karaoke afterwards.  He went up to the mic and just started on this song. He replaced every N word with his last name which somehow made it more endearing and made me love my friend even more.

There is that line, “I was just fucking them girls but I was gonna get right back.” I think there is that very raw moment in a person’s life when they need to chose to whether or not to let someone go, to move away from a person. A lot of the messiness in our friendship is that he is a guy. We have had relations. We used to be drunks. That messiness makes it easy for us to move away from each other, to think we don’t need each other’s friendship. He and I move away from each other a lot but if we need each other, we can just get right back.

And maybe this is just a cop out.  

-C